I write when I have something to say, yet I feel that I don't have anyone that I want to share it with...It is easy for me to cast my feelings upon the world for others to read without my knowledge.
Tonight I am writing about love...rather the better word would be lust.
To give you background on my thoughts of love, I think it does exist. However I do not believe in the "love" that one typically thinks they feel when they first meet someone....I believe that love is built over time by a willingness of two(or more...two in this case though) people.
With that said I have loved few in my life. The first guy I was in a long term relationship with (and produced and son out of) I didn't love him. I liked him at the time, and had a certain type of love for him, but he wasn't/isn't the person I could see myself growing old with.
The second guy I had a long term relationship with, I loved him. I had a deep and profound care from him and could see myself growing old with him. However since he didn't have the same idea of growing old together I had to ease that thought out of my mind. While trying to tame my thoughts I went through a ton of emotions (some good and some bad) for about three years. I thought my life was over and that he was the ONLY ONE. Boy was I wrong, and to be quite honest I am glad I was wrong. I never knew what an unhealthy relationship was until about 5 months ago. Don't get me wrong, we had our good times and we had our bad times, but in the end that relationship wasn't good for either party.
I thought I would grow old with him, hell I thought I wanted to grow old with him... however as the days go by and I get older and older I realize that if you try to force something it usually ends up breaking....
That leads me to the present. If you know me this will make sense...if you have free thoughts this might make sense, if you are closed minded this will not make sense.
I found my 2%. At least I think my 2% has come along. However it is in the fridge....just there waiting for the day. Actually the 2% is still hanging out with the strawberries, 2% really likes the strawberries. No, 2% loves the strawberries. I get the feeling that 2% really wants out...but it is a "hopeless romantic" and has known the strawberries since lactate times.
But I am the chocolate. We just go together(as least I think we go together). Well we have worked for all this time, I don't see why things would be different later...2% is there....but 2% is torn. It is loyal and doesn't want to hurt anyone. 2% wants love that will last a life time and not fade over time. The strawberries are good seasonally; they only come around during a certain period. But when they do come around,they are wonderful! So why would 2% leave the strawberries for the chocolate? What could chocolate offer that would last a life time? Hell, to the 2%...everything. However the chocolate could be wrong. It has been wrong before.
What is chocolate suppose to do now? Wait? Wait for the strawberries to go bad?
or wait on its' turn to mix with the 2%?
I mean, if the latter happened then you would get chocolate milk....
a combination that seems to fit....
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