Masturbating and the awarness my soul.

I have been consumed with the purpose of life since I was a child. As far as I can remember I would look into the sky and wonder if there was "more". I would think about what is right, wrong, and how would I know when I am doing either. I had my first indication of the thing that would tell me when I was five. This was also when I had my first orgasm. After the orgasm I remember a feeling of euphoria and kept thinking that I wanted to feel that all of the time...so I masturbated over and over and over again. Then when I was about 10 I looked into the mirror, after masturbating one evening, and it felt as though there was "something" staring back at me. It felt as if my body were standing there and "something" was in it. I referred to this "something" as a soul. I stood in the mirror confused. I wondered if my body had just masturbated or if my soul had. I knew it felt good and that feeling had to belonged to my body, but as I stood in the mirror my eyes starring at my body I felt as if my body and soul were two different entities.

In the book, Entangled Mines, Dean Radin, poses several questions that I have wondered since childhood. He asks: Why are we here? Is this all we're capable of? Does life have any real purpose or is all this emphasis on arithmetic and spelling just a distraction to avert our attention from more important questions like futility of existence? These are questions that my soul has asked; they are questions that come up when I stand at the ocean and my body feels micro. Even though the questions multiply, a bigger question always follows: will I be able to find the answers to all of my soul's questions?

Today I am just as confused as I was when I was ten. There are still a lot of questions that come to mind and little reasonable answers. I suppose I have the rest of my life to figure things out, but what happens when I do figure the above out? Will my soul leave my body like I felt it did after an orgasm, only this time for good....


π

The reason I chose Pi.

I have always enjoyed writing. Once I start writing about something that that I loved the words would just flow. I decided to start a blog after reading several of my friends blogs and thinking "wow, I love how they shared their thoughts indirectly with the world. So here I am. I decided to make my first blog about my chosen name: Pi.

Most people know pi as the mathematical constant whose value is the ratio of a circles' area to it's diameter, in other words: 3.141593.....also abvr as π. Other times, when one says π people think of pie. Which had a huge influence as to why I used pi.

Pi is an irrational number. I can be an irrational person. Per my past I have been unwise, illogical, foolish, and silly about more than one thing. As far as I have learned Mathematicians have tried to find a more precise number for π and to understand its' nature. This is the same with me. People have tried to find a more precise word for my personality and to understand my nature....bot mathematicians and those around me have not been successful thus far.

Now when one is referring to the circumference of a circle and they say it out loud most would think of PIE. You know a pastry, baked food good. Most people know that yummy little treat as sweet, warm, delicious and good for our soul...not a complicated mathematics transcendental number. That is me. Most people would think of one thing, but I am the other. I am very complicated and I am not what people usually think.

I choose π as my name b/c it is important to the community that it is in, mathematics....but to all the other communities it is just dough that tastes good.


π